There’s a very simple word in English that’s basically the fire extinguisher of arguments. A five-letter word we should use way more often, especially when we screw up. But somehow, a tiny three-letter troublemaker keeps defeating it every single time.

The 3-letter word is EGO while the 5-letter SORRY!

South Africa’s cricket coach, Shukri Conrad, had the chance to prove otherwise when he walked into the presser after his side’s defeat in the final game of the three-match ODI series. And as expected, the question was thrown his way.

Question? What question? Well, some of you may have forgotten. So let’s roll back the clock a little. South Africa were dominating India in their own backyard, a rarity in itself. They had thumped the hosts in the first Test. In the second, they were firm favourites at the end of play on Day 4. During that game, Conrad attended the press conference where he used a word that instantly became the talking point. As he later admitted, that one word ended up stealing the thunder from his team’s unbelievable series win. He blamed others for shifting the focus, but in truth, he had handed them the distraction himself. One word, and he had opened a debate that was never going to find a straightforward ending.

Word? What word? The word was GROVEL. A word loaded with history, a word rooted in the colonial era, a word that carries the stench of racism. And it came from a man whose country has lived through some of the worst racism and apartheid the world has seen. You wouldn’t expect it from someone like him who is usually articulate, calm, and composed. He was asked why his side didn’t declare and continued batting despite a massive lead. The Protea was quick to say that South Africa wanted India to “grovel.”


And then, obviously, we wanted the Indians to spend as much time on their feet out in the field, we wanted them to really grovel, to steal a phrase, bat them completely out the game, and then say to them ‘Come and survive on the last day and an hour this evening.’ So, so far so good, but we also know that they’re not just going to roll over, we’re going to have to be at our very best in the morning.”

Shukri Conrad

The visitors went on to win the game convincingly, one of their biggest achievements in recent years, simply because beating India in India is no small feat. But instead of celebrating the cricket, the spotlight shifted to Shukri’s remark. Indian fans were furious, social media erupted, and former cricketers weighed in with their own reactions. And they weren’t wrong to feel that way. Why? Because India have been a friend in need for South African cricket for quite some time now. Let’s get one fact straight: India have been the centre of the sport for well over a decade. And in a world where the BCCI holds enormous influence, the last thing you want is a relationship that suddenly turns sour.

Now, on Day 1 of the game, there was another incident—this time involving an Indian player. And out of all people, it was the usually unflappable Jasprit Bumrah who found himself in the firing line. He too used a word. Whether that word qualifies as racist is debatable, but it was certainly not the right thing to say. After an LBW appeal was turned down, Bumrah was heard telling his skipper Shubhman Gill and wicket-keeper, Rishabh Pant, that Temba Bavuma was “bauna,” meaning “dwarf”, and hence they should go for the review.

Some Indians might argue it’s a word casually used in the country, but that doesn’t give anyone the right to label or shame another person like that. Predictably, there was a furore around the comment, with many calling out Bumrah for body shaming the Protea captain, including quite a few Indian fans. However, after the visitors thumped India in the first Test, Bumrah was seen walking alongside Bavuma on the way to the dressing room, his arm around the South African skipper’s shoulders. One would assume the Indian speedster apologised in that moment, and that the matter quietly ended there.

Was that racist? Not sure. Was that wrong? Absolutely. And a public apology would have made far more sense. It would have set the right example and reminded people across the country that you always need to think twice before saying something that could potentially hurt or demean someone.

For a sport that’s been called a gentleman’s game for the longest time, it’s absurd that we’re even having to discuss all of this. But let’s get back to the main point. The whole premise of this post is that saying sorry is often the toughest thing to do.

Bumrah hasn’t been in a presser since, but Conrad did face the media. And he had the perfect chance to say sorry, a simple word that would’ve put the entire topic to rest. Instead, while addressing the issue, he said he regretted using the word and would be more careful with his choice of words in the future. He went on to suggest that people had stolen the thunder from his team by turning the focus onto him, rather than celebrating his side’s almost unthinkable achievement of beating India, in India.

I could have chosen a better word because it left it open for people to put their own context to it. The unfortunate thing is, with all the noise that that word caused, I still think it’s a perfectly good English word, but I just left it open to too many interpretations. What it did was take away the gloss of what was a really special win for our Test team. It’s unfortunate, but there was definitely no malice intended.

And that’s where it feels like Shukri isn’t really bothered. He said what he said, probably because he had to address it, but deep down he doesn’t seem to believe he did anything wrong. That’s where the real problem lies. He most probably still thinks using a word as loaded and nasty as “grovel”, which literally translates to “lie or crawl abjectly on the ground with one’s face downwards”. was harmless.

Conrad has actually turned out to be a wonderful coach for his side ever since his appointment. A team long labelled as chokers finally shed that tag with a stunning win in the WTC final, where they thumped Australia. And now, a victory in India in a two-match Test series is another mighty impressive accolade to his name. He deserves every bit of praise for that. However, he surely needs to watch his words.

I remember Indian politician Shashi Tharoor once speaking about colonisation, where he said something along the lines of, “Simply saying the word sorry would go a far longer way.” And that applies perfectly here too. Regret and sorry are two very different things, and I firmly believe Conrad needed to be sorry rather than merely regretting his choice of word. Let’s hope he chooses to say sorry when he sits for another presser during the T20I series.